I Interviewed Three AIs for a Job and I’m Hiring All of Them

I do a lot of predictive-text creative pieces with Botnik, but it’s not the only AI-generated text option available – by a long shot.

For instance, check out Talk to Transformer, which generates text based on the massive GPT-2 dataset. Write With Transformer is also based on GPT-2, but acts more like predictive text: You ask it to autocomplete a phrase or sentence, and it generates suggestions.

I decided to compare Botnik, Talk to Transformer, and Write With Transformer head to head: I forced them all to interview for a made-up job as my personal assistant.

Botnik, of course, is at a disadvantage. No matter which keyboard I load, Botnik is interviewing on a much smaller dataset than the massive GPT-2. To give Botnik a fighting chance, I loaded the “Jeff Bezos quotes” keyboard. GPT-2 is still a larger dataset, but at least Botnik is now a billionaire.

Here’s how they did.

interviewtransformer

Me: Tell me about yourself.

Botnik: Datacenters would work on behalf of customers if we understood technology. Research is still worth emphasizing because it adds glue to our shareholders.

TTT: I have a game where I can make some really great single-player games for Linux with just Unity 3D. And to me, that’s most exciting. And the least exciting is checking other people’s games.

WWT: A: My name is David L. Miller. I’m a lawyer in Atlanta, Georgia . I started my law practice on August 2, 1987. My firm has been practicing law for 35 years, so that’s nearly 30 years of practicing law.

Me: Why do you want to be my personal assistant?

Botnik: For fulfillment. Innovation follows reality, and our failures are not hypothetical. Indeed, if you count our current results, we are incredibly amazed.

TTT: Because I can totally handle that! You’re gonna be Super Legal Department!

WWT: Oh, you’re really good at this stuff, aren’t you? I think I can teach you to do better. Can you help me with something? You know how to do that.

Me: Tell me about a time you failed.

Botnik: I would argue toward shorter decisions. Anytime you make something, hundreds of customers download hundreds of millions of questions to your business model. Decisions ultimately limited our approach.

TTT: It’s a tough one. I have to admit, I’m a bit of a character breaker. I wish I had a question.

WWT: You said you were never happy, and then you failed, and now you’re going to get it right. I know how much that means to you. But it’s also what makes you a failure.

Me: What would you do if you caught a co-worker stealing?

Botnik: Shouldn’t you eliminate the source of the problems? We never designed a business model to share.

TTT: Of course they would want to know.  Of course they would want to talk.  Of course, there would be talking.

WWT: You’d probably do the same thing as he did. If he was a thief, you’d ask him why he was stealing things and maybe even file a complaint.

Me: Where do you see yourself in five years?

Botnik: We expect to deliver substantial progress in customer service. We believe that focusing on insurmountable excellence implies impossible success.

TTT: Will they look even better? Will they be even stronger? Those are the questions most people wonder about right now in Washington, D.C.

WWT: I want to be a director for television and I’ve always liked movies. My dad said to me, “Do you think you can make an honest film like this with your money?” and I said, “Well, it’s just so fucking hard.”

Me: What’s one thing you can do better than anyone else in this job?

Botnik: Somewhere, they are growing families with a crisper display. That’s easy. Our job right now is to deliver functionality.

TTT: An alcoholic, who almost lost his freedom on the road.  In prison, spent twenty-three hours on his hands, 19 days in solitary confinement.

WWT: We have to be better in the way we talk to each other. This means talking to each other in a professional way and using the language that’s appropriate.

Me: What’s your biggest weakness?

Botnik: Satisfaction. They never claim that our fulfillment is more efficient. The first major goal for 1999 will be a bold decision to invest in smaller packaging.

TTT: Probably that I’m not a practical planner (which I am not). For some reason, I always make plans for a good day after work, but don’t follow through.

WWT: My biggest weakness is my tendency to think on my feet. As much as I try to avoid it, I have to admit it makes me uncomfortable. I just can’t do it every day.

Me: When can you start?

Botnik: Instantly. I can assure you that I’d even contemplate a significant bump in profit dollars through this channel.

TTT: Well, it’s October 16th, so I guess that’s a question for another blog post. Okay, who am I kidding? I never get a blog post finished on time.

WWT: What can I do to make sure my baby doesn’t feel alone? How can I be a good baby? Why do I get so upset when my baby cries? Most of these questions have a good answer, but the best ones are rarely given.


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